How can I raise concerns with a new DM about XP splitting?
$begingroup$
My wife is new to DMing and D&D as a whole.
We had our first game yesterday and one of my friends raised a concern about how she was awarding XP as she was giving the XP to the person that got the killing blow. He felt, and I agree, that this was unfair to the people playing a support role i.e. our Bard and Druid.
Any suggestions on how I should bring this up without it sounding like a criticism or that I’m trying to take over?
dnd-5e experience-points
New contributor
$endgroup$
add a comment |
$begingroup$
My wife is new to DMing and D&D as a whole.
We had our first game yesterday and one of my friends raised a concern about how she was awarding XP as she was giving the XP to the person that got the killing blow. He felt, and I agree, that this was unfair to the people playing a support role i.e. our Bard and Druid.
Any suggestions on how I should bring this up without it sounding like a criticism or that I’m trying to take over?
dnd-5e experience-points
New contributor
$endgroup$
1
$begingroup$
Welcome to the site! Feel free to take our tour to learn more about us. I'm not certain this is the best site for a question like this, as we try to avoid open-ended questions like this that make finding the best answer difficult. You may be able to reformulate your question to better suit the site if you focus on a concrete problem you foresee in discussing the topic with your wife. In any case, good luck :)
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– David Coffron
yesterday
9
$begingroup$
Related on What should a player do if the DM doesn't know the rules?
$endgroup$
– NautArch
yesterday
4
$begingroup$
@Doreilly: Note that this question is perfectly on-topic here; personally, I think it's better to ask here, as it's a phrasing/communication question that people with RPG expertise are perfectly suited to answer. :)
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– V2Blast
21 hours ago
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@Hobbamok Please don't answer in the comments. Comments are only for suggesting improvements to the question or asking for clarification. Use the answer field below for posting things related to solving OP's issues. See here for our policy
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@CodeswithHammer please use comments only for requesting clarification or suggesting improvement. See my comment above.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
My wife is new to DMing and D&D as a whole.
We had our first game yesterday and one of my friends raised a concern about how she was awarding XP as she was giving the XP to the person that got the killing blow. He felt, and I agree, that this was unfair to the people playing a support role i.e. our Bard and Druid.
Any suggestions on how I should bring this up without it sounding like a criticism or that I’m trying to take over?
dnd-5e experience-points
New contributor
$endgroup$
My wife is new to DMing and D&D as a whole.
We had our first game yesterday and one of my friends raised a concern about how she was awarding XP as she was giving the XP to the person that got the killing blow. He felt, and I agree, that this was unfair to the people playing a support role i.e. our Bard and Druid.
Any suggestions on how I should bring this up without it sounding like a criticism or that I’m trying to take over?
dnd-5e experience-points
dnd-5e experience-points
New contributor
New contributor
edited yesterday
Rubiksmoose
59.6k10287440
59.6k10287440
New contributor
asked yesterday
DoreillyDoreilly
15123
15123
New contributor
New contributor
1
$begingroup$
Welcome to the site! Feel free to take our tour to learn more about us. I'm not certain this is the best site for a question like this, as we try to avoid open-ended questions like this that make finding the best answer difficult. You may be able to reformulate your question to better suit the site if you focus on a concrete problem you foresee in discussing the topic with your wife. In any case, good luck :)
$endgroup$
– David Coffron
yesterday
9
$begingroup$
Related on What should a player do if the DM doesn't know the rules?
$endgroup$
– NautArch
yesterday
4
$begingroup$
@Doreilly: Note that this question is perfectly on-topic here; personally, I think it's better to ask here, as it's a phrasing/communication question that people with RPG expertise are perfectly suited to answer. :)
$endgroup$
– V2Blast
21 hours ago
$begingroup$
@Hobbamok Please don't answer in the comments. Comments are only for suggesting improvements to the question or asking for clarification. Use the answer field below for posting things related to solving OP's issues. See here for our policy
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@CodeswithHammer please use comments only for requesting clarification or suggesting improvement. See my comment above.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
add a comment |
1
$begingroup$
Welcome to the site! Feel free to take our tour to learn more about us. I'm not certain this is the best site for a question like this, as we try to avoid open-ended questions like this that make finding the best answer difficult. You may be able to reformulate your question to better suit the site if you focus on a concrete problem you foresee in discussing the topic with your wife. In any case, good luck :)
$endgroup$
– David Coffron
yesterday
9
$begingroup$
Related on What should a player do if the DM doesn't know the rules?
$endgroup$
– NautArch
yesterday
4
$begingroup$
@Doreilly: Note that this question is perfectly on-topic here; personally, I think it's better to ask here, as it's a phrasing/communication question that people with RPG expertise are perfectly suited to answer. :)
$endgroup$
– V2Blast
21 hours ago
$begingroup$
@Hobbamok Please don't answer in the comments. Comments are only for suggesting improvements to the question or asking for clarification. Use the answer field below for posting things related to solving OP's issues. See here for our policy
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@CodeswithHammer please use comments only for requesting clarification or suggesting improvement. See my comment above.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
1
1
$begingroup$
Welcome to the site! Feel free to take our tour to learn more about us. I'm not certain this is the best site for a question like this, as we try to avoid open-ended questions like this that make finding the best answer difficult. You may be able to reformulate your question to better suit the site if you focus on a concrete problem you foresee in discussing the topic with your wife. In any case, good luck :)
$endgroup$
– David Coffron
yesterday
$begingroup$
Welcome to the site! Feel free to take our tour to learn more about us. I'm not certain this is the best site for a question like this, as we try to avoid open-ended questions like this that make finding the best answer difficult. You may be able to reformulate your question to better suit the site if you focus on a concrete problem you foresee in discussing the topic with your wife. In any case, good luck :)
$endgroup$
– David Coffron
yesterday
9
9
$begingroup$
Related on What should a player do if the DM doesn't know the rules?
$endgroup$
– NautArch
yesterday
$begingroup$
Related on What should a player do if the DM doesn't know the rules?
$endgroup$
– NautArch
yesterday
4
4
$begingroup$
@Doreilly: Note that this question is perfectly on-topic here; personally, I think it's better to ask here, as it's a phrasing/communication question that people with RPG expertise are perfectly suited to answer. :)
$endgroup$
– V2Blast
21 hours ago
$begingroup$
@Doreilly: Note that this question is perfectly on-topic here; personally, I think it's better to ask here, as it's a phrasing/communication question that people with RPG expertise are perfectly suited to answer. :)
$endgroup$
– V2Blast
21 hours ago
$begingroup$
@Hobbamok Please don't answer in the comments. Comments are only for suggesting improvements to the question or asking for clarification. Use the answer field below for posting things related to solving OP's issues. See here for our policy
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@Hobbamok Please don't answer in the comments. Comments are only for suggesting improvements to the question or asking for clarification. Use the answer field below for posting things related to solving OP's issues. See here for our policy
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@CodeswithHammer please use comments only for requesting clarification or suggesting improvement. See my comment above.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@CodeswithHammer please use comments only for requesting clarification or suggesting improvement. See my comment above.
$endgroup$
– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
add a comment |
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
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$begingroup$
By the Book
I'd start by suggesting she review Chapter 8: Running the Game, Experience Points. Hopefully, the part she'll realize what she's doing wrong after reading this:
Each monster has an XP value based on its challenge rating. When adventurers defeat one or more monsters — typically by killing, routing, or capturing them — they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
More importantly that just dividing up XP evenly, killing a creature is not the only way to gain XP. It should be possible to get XP with no killing at all. That clearly makes it unfair to award it for a kill - the non-lethal contributions can be just as important, if not more important, than raw damage. Unless the enemies are being played as unintelligent bags of blood and loot, it's even possible to win an encounter without killing anybody.
A Question of Fairness
If needed, you could highlight unfairness of XP-to-the-Killer by pointing out a scenario like this: What happens with something like a rogue sneak attack critical hit or a paladin crit smite leaving an enemy with single-digit hit points, and somebody else taking it out? The rogue or paladin did the vast majority of the damage. Why should the last hit point be more important than the thirty, fifty, seventy, or more that came before it?
$endgroup$
2
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
6
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Just politely point to the rulebook:
DMG pg 260 (emphasis added):
When adventures defeat one or more monsters ... they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
$endgroup$
3
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
1
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Ideally this would have been established beforehand
I've played with new GMs before and these situations can be tricky, and even more so with certain personality or relationship dynamics at the table. It's helpful to establish beforehand a method to address concerns so all players, including the GM, feel comfortable. At a new GM table (and at any table) I ask on the first day of the group meeting how the GM would like the players to address rule concerns. Let the GM guide you on what works best for them.
It's not too late
Just because you've started playing without establishing how to address concerns it doesn't mean you can't still do it. Until you do, let this specific situation lie. It's more important that you establish clear lines of communication that everyone is comfortable with than rushing into solving this specific problem. It's much easier to fix some misappropriated XP than bad feelings at the table.
At your next meeting when you're all at the table, but before game play, ask the GM how she would like the players to address any concerns they have. Listen to what she says and then take her lead. (She may also need time to do research or consider what would actually work best, in this case give the GM the time she needs to figure it out.)
It's worth noting that a new GM may not know what would work best for them, or the group, here. So be flexible if they decide to change it up later down the road.
Be Patient
Learning to GM takes time. There are a lot of rules, and there's a lot to manage. Even experienced GMs slip and need to be corrected. Like any new player, a new GM needs an enjoyable first experience to build confidence and appreciation for the game. Any time a concern comes up ask yourself, "is this so important that it affects my level of enjoyment at the table?"
If it doesn't affect the level of enjoyment and it's just rules for the sake of rules, let it lie. I have found that when I let go of my sometimes rigid expectations around rules the game opens up in new ways and can be more fun than I ever imagined. If it does affect the level of enjoyment address the concern using the method established by the GM.
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add a comment |
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3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
3 Answers
3
active
oldest
votes
active
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active
oldest
votes
$begingroup$
By the Book
I'd start by suggesting she review Chapter 8: Running the Game, Experience Points. Hopefully, the part she'll realize what she's doing wrong after reading this:
Each monster has an XP value based on its challenge rating. When adventurers defeat one or more monsters — typically by killing, routing, or capturing them — they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
More importantly that just dividing up XP evenly, killing a creature is not the only way to gain XP. It should be possible to get XP with no killing at all. That clearly makes it unfair to award it for a kill - the non-lethal contributions can be just as important, if not more important, than raw damage. Unless the enemies are being played as unintelligent bags of blood and loot, it's even possible to win an encounter without killing anybody.
A Question of Fairness
If needed, you could highlight unfairness of XP-to-the-Killer by pointing out a scenario like this: What happens with something like a rogue sneak attack critical hit or a paladin crit smite leaving an enemy with single-digit hit points, and somebody else taking it out? The rogue or paladin did the vast majority of the damage. Why should the last hit point be more important than the thirty, fifty, seventy, or more that came before it?
$endgroup$
2
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
6
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
By the Book
I'd start by suggesting she review Chapter 8: Running the Game, Experience Points. Hopefully, the part she'll realize what she's doing wrong after reading this:
Each monster has an XP value based on its challenge rating. When adventurers defeat one or more monsters — typically by killing, routing, or capturing them — they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
More importantly that just dividing up XP evenly, killing a creature is not the only way to gain XP. It should be possible to get XP with no killing at all. That clearly makes it unfair to award it for a kill - the non-lethal contributions can be just as important, if not more important, than raw damage. Unless the enemies are being played as unintelligent bags of blood and loot, it's even possible to win an encounter without killing anybody.
A Question of Fairness
If needed, you could highlight unfairness of XP-to-the-Killer by pointing out a scenario like this: What happens with something like a rogue sneak attack critical hit or a paladin crit smite leaving an enemy with single-digit hit points, and somebody else taking it out? The rogue or paladin did the vast majority of the damage. Why should the last hit point be more important than the thirty, fifty, seventy, or more that came before it?
$endgroup$
2
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
6
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
By the Book
I'd start by suggesting she review Chapter 8: Running the Game, Experience Points. Hopefully, the part she'll realize what she's doing wrong after reading this:
Each monster has an XP value based on its challenge rating. When adventurers defeat one or more monsters — typically by killing, routing, or capturing them — they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
More importantly that just dividing up XP evenly, killing a creature is not the only way to gain XP. It should be possible to get XP with no killing at all. That clearly makes it unfair to award it for a kill - the non-lethal contributions can be just as important, if not more important, than raw damage. Unless the enemies are being played as unintelligent bags of blood and loot, it's even possible to win an encounter without killing anybody.
A Question of Fairness
If needed, you could highlight unfairness of XP-to-the-Killer by pointing out a scenario like this: What happens with something like a rogue sneak attack critical hit or a paladin crit smite leaving an enemy with single-digit hit points, and somebody else taking it out? The rogue or paladin did the vast majority of the damage. Why should the last hit point be more important than the thirty, fifty, seventy, or more that came before it?
$endgroup$
By the Book
I'd start by suggesting she review Chapter 8: Running the Game, Experience Points. Hopefully, the part she'll realize what she's doing wrong after reading this:
Each monster has an XP value based on its challenge rating. When adventurers defeat one or more monsters — typically by killing, routing, or capturing them — they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
More importantly that just dividing up XP evenly, killing a creature is not the only way to gain XP. It should be possible to get XP with no killing at all. That clearly makes it unfair to award it for a kill - the non-lethal contributions can be just as important, if not more important, than raw damage. Unless the enemies are being played as unintelligent bags of blood and loot, it's even possible to win an encounter without killing anybody.
A Question of Fairness
If needed, you could highlight unfairness of XP-to-the-Killer by pointing out a scenario like this: What happens with something like a rogue sneak attack critical hit or a paladin crit smite leaving an enemy with single-digit hit points, and somebody else taking it out? The rogue or paladin did the vast majority of the damage. Why should the last hit point be more important than the thirty, fifty, seventy, or more that came before it?
edited 13 hours ago
SpearCarrier.no2
3628
3628
answered yesterday
T.J.L.T.J.L.
33.6k5119178
33.6k5119178
2
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
6
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
add a comment |
2
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
6
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
2
2
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
I realize your closing question is rhetorical, but I've read blog posts by GMs who award a small amount of damage XP for all (non-spell) hits and a larger kill XP award which goes entirely to whoever lands the killing blow, on the basis that this models mythical accounts of battle - you get the glory for finishing off the enemy, not for weakening them. Everyone knows Bard the Bowman brought Smaug down, but can you name of any of the other warriors who attacked the dragon without killing it?
$endgroup$
– Dave Sherohman
9 hours ago
6
6
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman That works for a story (except of course that it's renown you are now tracking, not ability, which xp and levels usually model) but it only works for D&D to a point. That is, it creates a very specific type of campaign that deviates from the "default" D&D experience. Definitely not something I would recommend for a new DM.
$endgroup$
– Jasper
9 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
You could technically make things fair by giving support classes XP for non-combat actions (Cleric healing, Bard inspiring, etc). But at that point you are just over complicating the whole XP share mechanic. Otherwise there is really no reason to play anything other than a group of muderhobo comabt PCs
$endgroup$
– D.Spetz
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
$begingroup$
@DaveSherohman I'd recommend the boardgame cutthroat caverns for that kind of reward system. A party getting killed by the weakest monster, because no one wants to be the one who dealt the penultimate blow, can be kind of fun in a short board game, but a whole campaign of jockeying for position will get annoying quite fast.
$endgroup$
– mlk
1 hour ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Just politely point to the rulebook:
DMG pg 260 (emphasis added):
When adventures defeat one or more monsters ... they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
$endgroup$
3
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
1
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Just politely point to the rulebook:
DMG pg 260 (emphasis added):
When adventures defeat one or more monsters ... they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
$endgroup$
3
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
1
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Just politely point to the rulebook:
DMG pg 260 (emphasis added):
When adventures defeat one or more monsters ... they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
$endgroup$
Just politely point to the rulebook:
DMG pg 260 (emphasis added):
When adventures defeat one or more monsters ... they divide the total XP value of the monsters evenly among themselves.
edited yesterday
answered yesterday
krbkrb
1,28528
1,28528
3
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
1
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
add a comment |
3
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
1
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
3
3
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
When should they do this? This is missing social context.
$endgroup$
– Bloodcinder
5 hours ago
1
1
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
While we all love sarcasm, Bloodcinder does have a point that knowing when to say something can be just as necessary as what is said. Discussing whether this should happen during the game when it occurs, after the game with everyone, before with everyone, some other time would be a very helpful addition.
$endgroup$
– NautArch
2 hours ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
$begingroup$
Per our subjective citation guidelines, Good Subjective answers tend to be longer, not shorter. They explain "why" and "how" and are backed up by experience. As a general rule answers should almost always be longer than a sentence. Indeed "point to the rulebook" is a component of a solution, but is not really walking the querent through negotiating the larger conversation this action would be a part of. Please expand on this answer or it may be removed. Also, please treat your fellow members with respect; I have removed some comments.
$endgroup$
– doppelgreener♦
35 mins ago
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Ideally this would have been established beforehand
I've played with new GMs before and these situations can be tricky, and even more so with certain personality or relationship dynamics at the table. It's helpful to establish beforehand a method to address concerns so all players, including the GM, feel comfortable. At a new GM table (and at any table) I ask on the first day of the group meeting how the GM would like the players to address rule concerns. Let the GM guide you on what works best for them.
It's not too late
Just because you've started playing without establishing how to address concerns it doesn't mean you can't still do it. Until you do, let this specific situation lie. It's more important that you establish clear lines of communication that everyone is comfortable with than rushing into solving this specific problem. It's much easier to fix some misappropriated XP than bad feelings at the table.
At your next meeting when you're all at the table, but before game play, ask the GM how she would like the players to address any concerns they have. Listen to what she says and then take her lead. (She may also need time to do research or consider what would actually work best, in this case give the GM the time she needs to figure it out.)
It's worth noting that a new GM may not know what would work best for them, or the group, here. So be flexible if they decide to change it up later down the road.
Be Patient
Learning to GM takes time. There are a lot of rules, and there's a lot to manage. Even experienced GMs slip and need to be corrected. Like any new player, a new GM needs an enjoyable first experience to build confidence and appreciation for the game. Any time a concern comes up ask yourself, "is this so important that it affects my level of enjoyment at the table?"
If it doesn't affect the level of enjoyment and it's just rules for the sake of rules, let it lie. I have found that when I let go of my sometimes rigid expectations around rules the game opens up in new ways and can be more fun than I ever imagined. If it does affect the level of enjoyment address the concern using the method established by the GM.
$endgroup$
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Ideally this would have been established beforehand
I've played with new GMs before and these situations can be tricky, and even more so with certain personality or relationship dynamics at the table. It's helpful to establish beforehand a method to address concerns so all players, including the GM, feel comfortable. At a new GM table (and at any table) I ask on the first day of the group meeting how the GM would like the players to address rule concerns. Let the GM guide you on what works best for them.
It's not too late
Just because you've started playing without establishing how to address concerns it doesn't mean you can't still do it. Until you do, let this specific situation lie. It's more important that you establish clear lines of communication that everyone is comfortable with than rushing into solving this specific problem. It's much easier to fix some misappropriated XP than bad feelings at the table.
At your next meeting when you're all at the table, but before game play, ask the GM how she would like the players to address any concerns they have. Listen to what she says and then take her lead. (She may also need time to do research or consider what would actually work best, in this case give the GM the time she needs to figure it out.)
It's worth noting that a new GM may not know what would work best for them, or the group, here. So be flexible if they decide to change it up later down the road.
Be Patient
Learning to GM takes time. There are a lot of rules, and there's a lot to manage. Even experienced GMs slip and need to be corrected. Like any new player, a new GM needs an enjoyable first experience to build confidence and appreciation for the game. Any time a concern comes up ask yourself, "is this so important that it affects my level of enjoyment at the table?"
If it doesn't affect the level of enjoyment and it's just rules for the sake of rules, let it lie. I have found that when I let go of my sometimes rigid expectations around rules the game opens up in new ways and can be more fun than I ever imagined. If it does affect the level of enjoyment address the concern using the method established by the GM.
$endgroup$
add a comment |
$begingroup$
Ideally this would have been established beforehand
I've played with new GMs before and these situations can be tricky, and even more so with certain personality or relationship dynamics at the table. It's helpful to establish beforehand a method to address concerns so all players, including the GM, feel comfortable. At a new GM table (and at any table) I ask on the first day of the group meeting how the GM would like the players to address rule concerns. Let the GM guide you on what works best for them.
It's not too late
Just because you've started playing without establishing how to address concerns it doesn't mean you can't still do it. Until you do, let this specific situation lie. It's more important that you establish clear lines of communication that everyone is comfortable with than rushing into solving this specific problem. It's much easier to fix some misappropriated XP than bad feelings at the table.
At your next meeting when you're all at the table, but before game play, ask the GM how she would like the players to address any concerns they have. Listen to what she says and then take her lead. (She may also need time to do research or consider what would actually work best, in this case give the GM the time she needs to figure it out.)
It's worth noting that a new GM may not know what would work best for them, or the group, here. So be flexible if they decide to change it up later down the road.
Be Patient
Learning to GM takes time. There are a lot of rules, and there's a lot to manage. Even experienced GMs slip and need to be corrected. Like any new player, a new GM needs an enjoyable first experience to build confidence and appreciation for the game. Any time a concern comes up ask yourself, "is this so important that it affects my level of enjoyment at the table?"
If it doesn't affect the level of enjoyment and it's just rules for the sake of rules, let it lie. I have found that when I let go of my sometimes rigid expectations around rules the game opens up in new ways and can be more fun than I ever imagined. If it does affect the level of enjoyment address the concern using the method established by the GM.
$endgroup$
Ideally this would have been established beforehand
I've played with new GMs before and these situations can be tricky, and even more so with certain personality or relationship dynamics at the table. It's helpful to establish beforehand a method to address concerns so all players, including the GM, feel comfortable. At a new GM table (and at any table) I ask on the first day of the group meeting how the GM would like the players to address rule concerns. Let the GM guide you on what works best for them.
It's not too late
Just because you've started playing without establishing how to address concerns it doesn't mean you can't still do it. Until you do, let this specific situation lie. It's more important that you establish clear lines of communication that everyone is comfortable with than rushing into solving this specific problem. It's much easier to fix some misappropriated XP than bad feelings at the table.
At your next meeting when you're all at the table, but before game play, ask the GM how she would like the players to address any concerns they have. Listen to what she says and then take her lead. (She may also need time to do research or consider what would actually work best, in this case give the GM the time she needs to figure it out.)
It's worth noting that a new GM may not know what would work best for them, or the group, here. So be flexible if they decide to change it up later down the road.
Be Patient
Learning to GM takes time. There are a lot of rules, and there's a lot to manage. Even experienced GMs slip and need to be corrected. Like any new player, a new GM needs an enjoyable first experience to build confidence and appreciation for the game. Any time a concern comes up ask yourself, "is this so important that it affects my level of enjoyment at the table?"
If it doesn't affect the level of enjoyment and it's just rules for the sake of rules, let it lie. I have found that when I let go of my sometimes rigid expectations around rules the game opens up in new ways and can be more fun than I ever imagined. If it does affect the level of enjoyment address the concern using the method established by the GM.
edited 6 hours ago
answered 6 hours ago
lightcatlightcat
5,51712363
5,51712363
add a comment |
add a comment |
Doreilly is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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Welcome to the site! Feel free to take our tour to learn more about us. I'm not certain this is the best site for a question like this, as we try to avoid open-ended questions like this that make finding the best answer difficult. You may be able to reformulate your question to better suit the site if you focus on a concrete problem you foresee in discussing the topic with your wife. In any case, good luck :)
$endgroup$
– David Coffron
yesterday
9
$begingroup$
Related on What should a player do if the DM doesn't know the rules?
$endgroup$
– NautArch
yesterday
4
$begingroup$
@Doreilly: Note that this question is perfectly on-topic here; personally, I think it's better to ask here, as it's a phrasing/communication question that people with RPG expertise are perfectly suited to answer. :)
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– V2Blast
21 hours ago
$begingroup$
@Hobbamok Please don't answer in the comments. Comments are only for suggesting improvements to the question or asking for clarification. Use the answer field below for posting things related to solving OP's issues. See here for our policy
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– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago
$begingroup$
@CodeswithHammer please use comments only for requesting clarification or suggesting improvement. See my comment above.
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– Rubiksmoose
5 hours ago