Sentence Structure Improvement












0















I'd like to improve my writing. My first sentence in this response letter doesn't sound correct when I read it. Any suggestions?



Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.



frustrated






sentence grammatical-structure







share|improve this question




















  • 2





    My response is from experience as bureaucrat: so I put it into a ‘comment’. So here goes. Your letter is cumbersome. 1) Put the title as a heading. “Your Letter of the <date>”. you do not have to cite the title unless you are copying in other people. If you do, then give the title as well. 2)”regarding” is a very heavy way of saying “about”. So now your letter can begin:- Thank you for your letter about the Final Rule (FR), in which you request a ...Discretion. I hope that helps.

    – Tuffy
    13 hours ago











  • @Tuffy: you're suggesting something like: Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago






  • 1





    No, Brett. I wasn’t clear. You write “Dear X,”. Then on a new paragraph (separate line you put: “Your Letter of March 1 2019” <as as heading>. Then in a new paragraph you write “Thank you for your letter ...”: exactly as I wrote in my comment. Then continue with you response.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago











  • I have a template for the heading. I need to know if the sentence is clear. My concern is how its written after the word "and" - is there a better way to write it?

    – BrettA
    11 hours ago











  • Look again at my last reply: I have replaced “and requesting” with ‘in which you request”. The rest is as you had it: I assume that the expression with initial capitals is a standard phrase, taken (I assume) from the original letter.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago
















0















I'd like to improve my writing. My first sentence in this response letter doesn't sound correct when I read it. Any suggestions?



Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.



frustrated






sentence grammatical-structure







share|improve this question




















  • 2





    My response is from experience as bureaucrat: so I put it into a ‘comment’. So here goes. Your letter is cumbersome. 1) Put the title as a heading. “Your Letter of the <date>”. you do not have to cite the title unless you are copying in other people. If you do, then give the title as well. 2)”regarding” is a very heavy way of saying “about”. So now your letter can begin:- Thank you for your letter about the Final Rule (FR), in which you request a ...Discretion. I hope that helps.

    – Tuffy
    13 hours ago











  • @Tuffy: you're suggesting something like: Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago






  • 1





    No, Brett. I wasn’t clear. You write “Dear X,”. Then on a new paragraph (separate line you put: “Your Letter of March 1 2019” <as as heading>. Then in a new paragraph you write “Thank you for your letter ...”: exactly as I wrote in my comment. Then continue with you response.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago











  • I have a template for the heading. I need to know if the sentence is clear. My concern is how its written after the word "and" - is there a better way to write it?

    – BrettA
    11 hours ago











  • Look again at my last reply: I have replaced “and requesting” with ‘in which you request”. The rest is as you had it: I assume that the expression with initial capitals is a standard phrase, taken (I assume) from the original letter.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago














0












0








0








I'd like to improve my writing. My first sentence in this response letter doesn't sound correct when I read it. Any suggestions?



Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.



frustrated






sentence grammatical-structure







share|improve this question
















I'd like to improve my writing. My first sentence in this response letter doesn't sound correct when I read it. Any suggestions?



Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.



frustrated






sentence grammatical-structure




sentence grammatical-structure






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 11 hours ago







BrettA

















asked 14 hours ago









BrettABrettA

437




437








  • 2





    My response is from experience as bureaucrat: so I put it into a ‘comment’. So here goes. Your letter is cumbersome. 1) Put the title as a heading. “Your Letter of the <date>”. you do not have to cite the title unless you are copying in other people. If you do, then give the title as well. 2)”regarding” is a very heavy way of saying “about”. So now your letter can begin:- Thank you for your letter about the Final Rule (FR), in which you request a ...Discretion. I hope that helps.

    – Tuffy
    13 hours ago











  • @Tuffy: you're suggesting something like: Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago






  • 1





    No, Brett. I wasn’t clear. You write “Dear X,”. Then on a new paragraph (separate line you put: “Your Letter of March 1 2019” <as as heading>. Then in a new paragraph you write “Thank you for your letter ...”: exactly as I wrote in my comment. Then continue with you response.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago











  • I have a template for the heading. I need to know if the sentence is clear. My concern is how its written after the word "and" - is there a better way to write it?

    – BrettA
    11 hours ago











  • Look again at my last reply: I have replaced “and requesting” with ‘in which you request”. The rest is as you had it: I assume that the expression with initial capitals is a standard phrase, taken (I assume) from the original letter.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago














  • 2





    My response is from experience as bureaucrat: so I put it into a ‘comment’. So here goes. Your letter is cumbersome. 1) Put the title as a heading. “Your Letter of the <date>”. you do not have to cite the title unless you are copying in other people. If you do, then give the title as well. 2)”regarding” is a very heavy way of saying “about”. So now your letter can begin:- Thank you for your letter about the Final Rule (FR), in which you request a ...Discretion. I hope that helps.

    – Tuffy
    13 hours ago











  • @Tuffy: you're suggesting something like: Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago






  • 1





    No, Brett. I wasn’t clear. You write “Dear X,”. Then on a new paragraph (separate line you put: “Your Letter of March 1 2019” <as as heading>. Then in a new paragraph you write “Thank you for your letter ...”: exactly as I wrote in my comment. Then continue with you response.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago











  • I have a template for the heading. I need to know if the sentence is clear. My concern is how its written after the word "and" - is there a better way to write it?

    – BrettA
    11 hours ago











  • Look again at my last reply: I have replaced “and requesting” with ‘in which you request”. The rest is as you had it: I assume that the expression with initial capitals is a standard phrase, taken (I assume) from the original letter.

    – Tuffy
    11 hours ago








2




2





My response is from experience as bureaucrat: so I put it into a ‘comment’. So here goes. Your letter is cumbersome. 1) Put the title as a heading. “Your Letter of the <date>”. you do not have to cite the title unless you are copying in other people. If you do, then give the title as well. 2)”regarding” is a very heavy way of saying “about”. So now your letter can begin:- Thank you for your letter about the Final Rule (FR), in which you request a ...Discretion. I hope that helps.

– Tuffy
13 hours ago





My response is from experience as bureaucrat: so I put it into a ‘comment’. So here goes. Your letter is cumbersome. 1) Put the title as a heading. “Your Letter of the <date>”. you do not have to cite the title unless you are copying in other people. If you do, then give the title as well. 2)”regarding” is a very heavy way of saying “about”. So now your letter can begin:- Thank you for your letter about the Final Rule (FR), in which you request a ...Discretion. I hope that helps.

– Tuffy
13 hours ago













@Tuffy: you're suggesting something like: Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

– BrettA
13 hours ago





@Tuffy: you're suggesting something like: Thank you for your letter of March 1, 2019, regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” and request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

– BrettA
13 hours ago




1




1





No, Brett. I wasn’t clear. You write “Dear X,”. Then on a new paragraph (separate line you put: “Your Letter of March 1 2019” <as as heading>. Then in a new paragraph you write “Thank you for your letter ...”: exactly as I wrote in my comment. Then continue with you response.

– Tuffy
11 hours ago





No, Brett. I wasn’t clear. You write “Dear X,”. Then on a new paragraph (separate line you put: “Your Letter of March 1 2019” <as as heading>. Then in a new paragraph you write “Thank you for your letter ...”: exactly as I wrote in my comment. Then continue with you response.

– Tuffy
11 hours ago













I have a template for the heading. I need to know if the sentence is clear. My concern is how its written after the word "and" - is there a better way to write it?

– BrettA
11 hours ago





I have a template for the heading. I need to know if the sentence is clear. My concern is how its written after the word "and" - is there a better way to write it?

– BrettA
11 hours ago













Look again at my last reply: I have replaced “and requesting” with ‘in which you request”. The rest is as you had it: I assume that the expression with initial capitals is a standard phrase, taken (I assume) from the original letter.

– Tuffy
11 hours ago





Look again at my last reply: I have replaced “and requesting” with ‘in which you request”. The rest is as you had it: I assume that the expression with initial capitals is a standard phrase, taken (I assume) from the original letter.

– Tuffy
11 hours ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















0














Do you mean: "Thank you for your response regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion." But did this entity tell you what you wanted to know, or simply, acknowledge receipt of your request.






share|improve this answer


























  • No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago











  • Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – J. Doe
    12 hours ago











Your Answer








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1 Answer
1






active

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active

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0














Do you mean: "Thank you for your response regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion." But did this entity tell you what you wanted to know, or simply, acknowledge receipt of your request.






share|improve this answer


























  • No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago











  • Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – J. Doe
    12 hours ago
















0














Do you mean: "Thank you for your response regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion." But did this entity tell you what you wanted to know, or simply, acknowledge receipt of your request.






share|improve this answer


























  • No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago











  • Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – J. Doe
    12 hours ago














0












0








0







Do you mean: "Thank you for your response regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion." But did this entity tell you what you wanted to know, or simply, acknowledge receipt of your request.






share|improve this answer















Do you mean: "Thank you for your response regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266] and my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion." But did this entity tell you what you wanted to know, or simply, acknowledge receipt of your request.







share|improve this answer














share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer








edited 12 hours ago

























answered 13 hours ago









J. DoeJ. Doe

14




14













  • No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago











  • Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – J. Doe
    12 hours ago



















  • No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – BrettA
    13 hours ago











  • Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

    – J. Doe
    12 hours ago

















No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

– BrettA
13 hours ago





No. In the letter the person inquired about the FR and requested a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

– BrettA
13 hours ago













Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

– J. Doe
12 hours ago





Thank you for your letter regarding the Final Rule (FR) titled “Enhanced Safety Provisions for Aircraft” [84 LL 1234; CS 2266], and acknowledgement of my request for a Statement of Enforcement Discretion.

– J. Doe
12 hours ago


















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